the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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