I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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