Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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