just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
