I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
