She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
