How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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