i already hear my dad disowning me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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