I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
