as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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