worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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