i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
