I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
