good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
