My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
