you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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