I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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