when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
zippers are such a cool invention
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize