Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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