can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
