Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
