My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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