I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize