If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
