Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
