Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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