you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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