Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
