Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize