Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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