Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
