I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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