Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
