First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
