it wasn't lemon gatorade
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
