Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
sex in a hospital.. check
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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