The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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