I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize