It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
