I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
