So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
