He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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