"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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