I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
