I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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