it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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