He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
