she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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