I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
well you can't waste a boner
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
