The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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