just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
