Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
