Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
