I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
