I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
