I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
