I can't watch pbs sober anymore
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
