Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This is my gift to your gina
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
