CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize