just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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