So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
