Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
