So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
im six kinds of drunk right now
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
